People often ask me, “How were you able to have it all?” I am always stunned by the question because “all” means different things to everyone. “All” is society’s definition of success. For many people, “all” means that you have had a successful career, family life, and community or social life, as defined by someone’s standards of success. For example, in the work place promotion can be one of the cultural standards of success.
My answer to this question is “I have had a wonderful life and it has met all my success objectives.” Early in my career I asked myself what success meant to me. I have always defined success as a great career, a long and good marriage, and raising my children to be self-sufficient adults. There were many other things I could have defined as successful but I knew I had to make choices in life. The choices I made had consequences. For my career to advance, I had to move from my initial location. My husband had a prosperous business that was not easily transferred. We started a long distance relationship. This was a difficult choice but if I hadn’t moved, I never would have had the opportunity to achieve my career objectives. All choices have consequences. Knowing what you want out of life, understanding the consequences of your choices, and being okay with them is a foundational requirement for having what you want.